yb-diary-of-a-pom

Diary of a pom living in Gaborone

Admittedly this post is taken from another blog site, however given it’s specifically about Botswana, I had to share. Please note I have edited and deleted some the expletives.

August 1
I just got transferred with work from London to our new home in the Phakalane Golf Estate, Gaborone. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday, it was beautiful. I’ve finally found my new home… I love it here.

September 1
Really heating up now, it got to 31 degrees celsius today. No problem though, living in air-conditioned home, driving an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a sun-worshipper – no blasted rain like back in London.

September 15
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today, lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me! Another scorcher today, but I love it here. It’s Paradise.

October 1
The temperature hasn’t been below 35 degrees all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it’s windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatising is taking longer than we expected.

October 15
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday… got third degree burns over 60% of my body! Missed three days off work. What a dumb thing to do. Got to respect the sun in a climate like this!

October 20
Didn’t notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskas and cat shit. I’ve learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

October 25
This wind is a bastard, it feels like a giant f**king blow dryer. And it’s hot as hell! The home air conditioning is on the blink and the repairman charged P1,000 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from f**king Joburg.

October 30
The temperature is up at around 40 degrees and the parts still haven’t arrived for the f**king air-conditioning. House is an oven so we’ve all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody P5,000,000 house and we can’t even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?

November 4
Finally got the f**king air-conditioning fixed. It cost P10,000 and gets the temperature down to around 35 degrees. Stupid repairman. F**king thief!!

November 8
If one more smart bastard says “Hot enough for you today?” I’m going to throttle them. F**king heat! By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet and I smell like baked cat. F**king place is the end of the Earth.

November 9
Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my f**king arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat… F**k. F**k. F**k!!!

November 10
The weather report might as well be a f**king recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and f**king sunny. It never f**king changes! It’s been too hot to do anything for two months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.F**k!

November 15
Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn place? Water restrictions are next, so my P20,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the f**king pool. The only things that thrive in this hellhole are the f**king flies. You don’t dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!

November 20
Welcome to HELL! It got to 42 f**king degrees today. Now the air conditioning is gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, “Hot enough for you today?” I wanted to shove the f**king car up his arse. Anyway, had to spend the P30,000 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick. F**king Botswana! What kind of sick, demented idiot would want to live here!

December 1
WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer????

12 months ago

12 Comments

  1. No one forced this immigrant to come to our beautiful country….if he can’t take the heat then he should get outta the kitchen…That’s a country he’s talking about….there is a difference between a rational opinion or a value judgement and complete disrespect..😒 his is just disrespectful

    1. Thanks for your comment, RickyJay. In fairness, I can see why some Batswana might take offence, but there’s no evidence to suggest the original post is real and it may have been written purely for comedic value. In any case, there’s plenty of expats who love the weather in Botswana 🙂

      1. @Thabo, exactly….I think sometimes we have to let go a little bit and poke fun at ourselves. That’s why YourBotswana took the article in the spirit with which it was delivered 🙂

  2. Well it’s very cold here in England with a warning of snow in our neck of the woods. Let’s face it’s one extreme to the other. It’s impossible to win the weather race.

    1. The weather in Botswana is more consistent (predictable) than it is in the UK. It definitely doesn’t get anywhere near as cold. Thanks for stopping by and keep coming back 🙂

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